Hmmm

You ever get news that irrevocably changes your life? Yeah I got some of that recently. I know that I did not handle it well initially. I know that I want it to go back to the way it was for many reasons. Some very selfish, some very practical and logical. But in the end, it doesn't matter. It is what it is. And I think I have finally gotten to a point in my life where I can decide how I view things. So, I can view it as a negative and let it consume my life. Or I can view it as a positive, and what is supposed to happen right now, and move forward. I have had enough negative in my life, and frankly, I don't need it anymore. So, here's to the positive. Here's to taking what life gives you and making the best of it.

Welcome back...

I thought I would come back to writing, as I am taking a hiatus from Facebook. It got to be that my addiction was readily apparent, and as a 29 year old man, father, Army officer, veteran, graduate student, that tiny fact just didn't seem acceptable. So I wrote a little note on FB saying goodbye. I want to get back to what is important in my life: my daughter, school, fitness and health (I would say that cooking falls under the health part). I have let those things suffer because I am too busy wasting time. Well, no more. One could argue, I suppose, that this is a time waster as well. But I disagree. I think a forum to get my thoughts, feelings and emotions out is a good and necessary outlet. Writing by hand is great, but really, my handwriting after a very short while gets indecipherable and even doctors look at it and scratch their heads. Yeah, it gets bad. So typing it and having it forever memorialized in cyberspace seems to be the alternative. I can deal with that. With that being said though, I don't want this to become a consuming thing either. So I will try and moderate it the best I can.
Also, I contribute to my friend's culinary blog- http://leetsstreet.com/ which is pretty awesome. Her stuff if amazing. My stuff works. Check it out if you feel so inclined.
Apart from that, I will try and keep the posts mildly interesting while still trying to communicate whatever it is I'm trying to communicate. No one likes to read boring shit. I know if and when my daughter ever looks at this, I don't want her to think that I was a total lame ass. But now I am going to get back to being taught Voodoo, otherwise known as Radiology. God this shit is boring. And made up. Made up, boring shit does not make for a conducive, post-lunch food coma learning environment. F.

Le Sigh

As you may have noticed, I haven't posted anything in awhile. Well, there's a reason. Well, there's two actually. One, I haven't had any gawd-damned time. Seriously. I'm above and beyond my eyeballs in every manner of science, ethics, law, and statistics imaginable. Well, maybe not imaginable. Even I can imagine more. But you get the idea. So yeah, there's an S-ton of work to do and study and its going about a hundred miles an hour, and frankly, its exhausting. And two, I haven't really had anything to write about. I mean, I could write to you all (haha...like there's enough of you out there to be considered 'all', implying a large number...) about my day and the things I did in class and blah blah blah blah blah. Side note- have you ever noticed that if you write 'blah blah blah' or something similar, you have a cadence in your head of how its going, but it doesn't really translate all that well to the page (read: screen). Sorry. My classes are boring enough as it is without having to tell you about them. My A and P class is like sitting in Charlie Brown's classroom with his teacher droning on in a horrid monotone for two hours about cellular biology and genetics. It is literally mind numbing. I get up during our breaks wondering what hit me. It sure wasn't knowledge or inspiration. Profound lethargy- inducing monotony-derived lecturitis. Thats a new disease I just discovered. In myself. And tomorrow is a double dose before and after lunch. Ugh. Or I could post lots of pictures and ramble on about my cooking which, while I enjoy and find entertaining in my escapades, is neither all that interesting to other people nor really that great in the first place, to really warrant posting about it. Even though I do and I have and I probably will. I have made a crap load of food and have so many leftovers in my fridge because I got excited with recipes last SUnday that some of it will probably have to be thrown out. Or I will gorge myself on it to make sure nothing goes to waste. Ah decisions, decisions. But again, I haven't felt the inspiration to write about any of that recently. I have friends who do it much better, both in writing and execution. Or I could write about my workouts and what I feel Ive been accomplishing through them. I think this one is more plausible only because I feel more of a sense of accomplishment with this, as it is tangible results with instant feedback, which we all know has become a hallmark of our society. I enjoy working out. I get funny looks at 6 am in the college gym working out in the corner, doing something that looks insanely painful, borderline dangerous, and outright crazy. I mean, who pushes themselves to a heaving, gasping, heap on their own that early? Lying in a puddle of their own sweat and muttering that they made that barbell their bitch? I think I scare the synchro swim team and some of the faculty in there, but its a good time. I have been hitting some personal records as of late, which is always a good thing. Though I think I tweaked my back a bit the other day. Oh well. So I don't know. I don't think people really want to read about that. I follow another blog, Anywherefit, that I highly recommend. The guy has some great stuff, especially under the 'Fitness is...' heading. My writing is not profound or deep or anything along those lines. Its just me rambling on about whats happening in my world. Which, by the way, is like an arctic goddamn wasteland as of late. Trying to run outside when you're sweaty and the temp just dropped 20 degrees from when you left the house to when you got to the gym is just ridiculous. And since it dropped 20 degrees, I of course did not bring my jacket, because it was 50 when I left. Grumble. The wind here is retarded. I don't want to talk about it. I dont like it.

So anyway. I set out to determine what not to write about and ended up writing about it all anyway. Well, I guess that is the beauty of it being my blog and all. I get to put whatever I want in there. I will try to be more entertaining, enlightening, and erudite, or something, in the future. Sorry, was going for some more alliteration. I love it. But thats all I got. 415 comes early. And I'm spent. Night peeps.

Another day, another dollar...well, another day anyway

Today was a pretty decent day. I got up uber early, went to the gym and got my ass handed to me. It was 'Named Workout Wednesday', which means that they take a mainsite workout that has a name to it. There are lots of them, and they all suck. Today's was 'Kelly'. Its an older one that I have never done, and sure enough, it sucked.

400m run

30 box jumps (24in box)

30 wall balls (20# ball)

5 rounds for time

I did it in 31:35

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/CrossFit_KellyWODSCDemo.wmv

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/CrossFit_KellyWODSCDemo.mov

If you watch the video, take note of the ending position of everyone. Yeah. That was me, too. Suck.

But anywho, that was early in the a.m. Before I even left the house I had made some eggs to warm up later, made my lunch and snacks for the day. Got my tea made up and a protein shake for after the workout. I felt very productive by 530. School was loooooong. I definitely felt tired today, for most of the day. I actually had to take an energy drink today and it worked out pretty well. Perked up and actually retained some of what was being said. I guess my only gripe about the day was when the people in class overloaded the circuit on my row, which made it not possible to keep my computer plugged in, which irritated me. So I had to actually pay attention in class and listen to the instructor. I ended up writing in my notes/journal book more, which I keep next to me during lectures so that I can write down random thoughts that I have throughout the day, which are usually distractors, or so that I can come back to them later so I don't dwell on them during class. Well, I ended up just writing in that more, but it turned out ok. We started talking about interesting things in microbiology finally (its been horribly boring the last three classes). Then home to some tasty pork chops and cauliflower rice. I studied for a bit, some biochem and medlaw, and am now ready to go to bed. I know that I should prepare my stuff for tomorrow, because 430 comes wicked early, but I really don't feel like it. I'm a little sore, a lot tired, and frankly, I just don't care. I know I can do it in the morning and I am perfectly okay with that.

I know this is a tad boring, but I really don't have anything of significance to talk about or anything enlightening to post. Just my day. Blah blah blah.

Night, peeps.

Whiny officers and neurotic test takers

So today was a good day. All the studying I did over the past few days payed off. I ended up with an 88 on my biochem test today, which was ok, but I would have liked better. And it should have been a higher score, but I made some dumb mistakes. Oh well. Live and learn. What wasn't so good was the incessant whining and non-stop recreation of the test. All day long people talked about the test...'oh I know I failed'....'oh I got this one wrong'....'what did you get for number blah blah blah?' All. Damn. Day. The test was officially over at 0850 this morning. I can understand for the hour we had afterwards, until the start of our next class, that people would discuss it. But no. It went on all day. And it just got worse. I guess I just don't understand the need to relive it. Its done. Its over. You don't have a test booklet and your answers to go over, so why are you drawing it out over and over and over. It was very frustrating. So I tuned out with tunes ;) But anyway, besides whiny officers and neurotic test takers, it was a good day. I managed to not really nod off during lectures, even though they were snooze-worthy and they went on longer than usual. I managed to get some good reading done and even got a chance to read a blog that I particularly enjoy. The guy, who is a competitive Crossfitter, writes so eloquently and just says exactly what you're thinking....just much nicer. Which I suppose is the implied definition of eloquent writing. Anywho. Well, in his blog, he has a 'Fitness is...' and then has different posts about what fitness is to him. And I love it. And one of them was basically about how we create excuses and mental roadblocks that get in our way of reaching our ull potential, amongst other things. And it hit me that I really do make a lot of excuses when it comes to working out. I can always use the fact that I have homework to do or whatever, and I usually do. I usually find some way of getting out of going to the gym, even though I go quite a bit. I guess that even though I go more than most people, that isn't good enough for me. I know what I want to achieve and what it will take to get there. And by creating those excuses, I get in my own way. So, after getting out late from school and sitting in traffic forever, I devised a little workout that I could do at home. I did a quick warm-up, that should have been more, then I did the following:

3 rounds

200m run each round, then

21-15-9

Lt arm kb snatch

double unders

Rt arm kb snatch

It sucked. A lot. But I did it and I feel good. I'm totally ready for bed now, but I feel good. And I'm going to get my ass up early tomorrow morning and go before school that way I am awake and alert for classes and so I don't have to try and squeeze it in at night, when I should be studying. So yeah. He had a quote that I liked:

'The one meal you cheat, the one WOD you tank, the one foam roll you bypass: it all counts. Its what's meant by the theory of accountability- there's no such thing as an insignificant choice.'

It just hit me very hard that making excuses and not giving everything I have to my passions and pursuits, then what's the point? My passion is to be healthy and strong, and by creating excuses to not work out, or to go ahead and eat that piece of (fill in the blank with crap food), then I am quite literally wasting precious time that I truly do not have any extra of. I made excuses during the holidays to eat like crap, and gained back ten pounds of fat that I literally worked my ass for. And for what? Another piece of cheesecake? More chocolate? More mashed potatoes? Transitory things which have no long term value and which detract considerably from hard work and effort that I have put in in pursuit of my passions and goals. Well, no mas por favor.

He had some other great quotes, but I won't post them this time. Check out his blog at http://crossfitmobile.blogspot.com/ and look at the 'Fitness is...' tab. Its good stuff.

On that note, Im off to bed. I need to rest, as I do not get my much desired, and needed, 8 hours of sleep each night. 6.5 if I'm lucky. So I'm out. See you all later.

Night, peeps.

Biochem sucks

Well, it (biochemistry) doesn't suck. Its very important and I'm glad that there are smart people out there who are highly interested in it and do lots of research and blah blah blah. I guess studying for it for a test sucks. 4 hour study group, followed by individual studying, followed by another 4 hour study session, followed by more individual studying, followed by a day of individual studying, followed by individual study followed by another 4 hour study session followed by more individual studying...all for one test. F. M. L. And this shit is still confusing. Saturday's study session wasn't so much a waste of time, but more that the guy giving the study session was going into too much detail into stuff we should already know, and there were people who were thrilled he was doing that...which scares me. I don't know. I guess if you don't have the basics that we've been talking about for the last two weeks then chances are you're gonna have a rough time on the test. But I guess that isn't my problem. I guess the crux of my complaint is that I don't particularly like studying this much. Plain and simple. And it doesn't help that the instructor is too smart to be teaching this class. He has a doctorate in clinical pathology or something uber smart like that and he's teaching basic biochemistry. Blech. He likes to read slides and gloss over things that are probably pretty important, but what he assumes we all know. But everyone teaches their own way and I guess I just need to learn his style and convert it where I can into my learning style.

I have taken to watching Youtube videos on my subjects, which thankfully there is no shortage of videos. Dr. Najeeb is my favorite. And right now I have Professor Dasgupta going in the background as I type this. I dunno what it is, but the Indian professors are wildly more entertaining and explain things the best, so far that I've found, anyways. Once you get past the accent, which is thicker in some people that others, its usually a great additional learning tool. I tend to learn best when I hear and see things explained in multiple ways. Actually, I take that back. I like when that happens, but to be honest, I really don't know how I learn best. All I know is that I can't read the book and learn it. I must be taught, in some capacity. And right now, all my instructor does is read the slides (for biochem, anyway). Ah well. I will figure it out.

On to my next topic of complaint. The 100 Day Pushup and 2xSquat Challenge. I hate you, Toben. Just saying. So a friend of mine named Toben had just completed a 100 Day Burpee Challenge, which I refused to participate in. Well, he decided on pushups and 2x squats. I thought, 'What the hell.' So I started and its always easy in the beginning because its so few of each. Well, now I am a third of the way into it and I really dislike it. And the thought that it only gets worse does not make me happy. And god forbid you miss a day. Then you have to make it up. Gah. I missed like two days in a row this week because I kept putting it off during the day, and now I'm making it up. So yesterday I did 31 and 32. Today is 33 and 34. So 33 pushups and 66 squats, and 34 pushups and 68 squats. Blech. And I don't get to count that into my workout either. I can use it as a warm-up, but if I happen to do those movements during my workout, it doesn't count for the Challenge. Suck. But my workouts have been going really well. We did some snatch work the other day (haha...I know). The snatch is an Olympic weightlifting movement that is used in Crossfit. So we did a lot of practice on it on Friday, where I maxed out at 115. 115 is not a lot when you get down to it, but for not doing it in awhile, and doing so many reps of it, I was ok with that. We did every variation you could think of and my hips and shoulders were fried. But it felt ok. Then on Saturday we did a Hopper mix, which sucked. A hopper, or chipper, is where they basically draw workouts or movements out of a hat and make a horrid workout out of it. So we did 2 minutes of work followed by 2 minutes of rest. It looked like this:

2 min work

-200m run

-max reps med ball throws (20lb)

(2 min rest)

2 min work

-200m run

-max reps KB SDHP 70#

(2 min rest)

2 min work

-2oom run

-max reps burpees

(2 min rest)

2 min work

-200m run

-max reps KB swings 70#

Then we followed up with heavy back squats, which really sucked because our legs were jelly after the workout. But we did 3-3-3 and my group did 205, 225, 235. Again, not the heaviest any of us has done, but not bad considering our jelly legs. And yesterday (Sunday) they had open gym, which was pretty cool. Everyone was doing their own thing and I decided to do Monday's workout, which was Hang Squat Snatch for 2-2-2-2-2, then 3x10 strict pullups alternated with 3x10 Ring Dips. I went 85-95-105-115-125 for my snatch, which was pretty good. It actually felt good, too. The movement sometimes feels a little goofy, but it felt solid yesterday, so I was happy. Pullups and Ring dips suck. Plain and simple. But overall it was a good thing and the people there are pretty damn cool.

Also, my gym, and most gyms, are doing a Paleo challenge. Bascially, you eat Paleo for a month and see how you feel after a month. They also did a baseline workout [6oom run, 40 CF situps, 30 air squats, 20 game style pushups, 1- burpees for time (5:05)] which they will re-test after the month is up. So that should be interesting. I have been doing pretty good. I don't eat 100% paleo, but I do it pretty much the whole time. I do have a lot of fruits, which probably isn't great, and some whole fruit juice, but I mostly eat meat, veggies and nuts. I haven't noticed a huge change yet, but its only been a little while. And since I don't know all the rules and ins/outs of eating paleo, I'm probably eating things I shouldn't be and may therefore not be getting the whole benefit. But overall I think it will be beneficial. Though I think I ate way too much bacon this morning, I do love that I get to eat a lot of meat. I stick to chicken mostly, with some pork, and usually one beef dish a week, usually done in the crock pot. I love my crockpot. My mom got it for me for christmas and I have made some pretty tasty stuff so far. Green chile pulled pork, spicy chipotle braised beef, and spicy asian beef and veggies. Sooooo tasty. And then I also tend to make my chicken and green chile and pork and green chile every week because its so easy and I can just eat it for leftovers later in the week. I will also make my cauliflower rice, asparagus and grilled veggies for sides. And I usually do a stir fry each week. Again, I think I'm doing pretty good with the diet, so we shall see how it all turns out. I know I gained about 10 pounds over the christmas break, and since I worked so hard to get the weight off before that, I want to make sure I get it off quickly.

I need to get going to my study session. Hopefully I am about as ready as I can be for this test and that I will do well. I got a 100 on my microbiology test, but that infinitely easier than biochem. So we shall see.

Peace, peeps.

A Recommencing of Efforts. Maybe.

Hello again. Its been awhile, I apologize. I'd like to say that I've been busy the whole time, but, well, that just wouldn't be true. I have been busy, don't get me wrong. The last week and a half have been brutal, but really before that, there wasn't much going on. So there really isn't much excuse for the time periods between Thanksgiving and Christmas/New Years. Frankly, I've just been lazy in regards to this little bloggity blog and to my very few, sporadic readers, I must apologize sincerely. However comma. Since then (and by 'then', I mean the last 10 days or so) I have been up to my eyeballs in 'busy'. I drove 1000 miles back to San Antonio with a truckload of crap (again) and began to overfill my apartment. I may not have mentioned this from before, but I have a tiny apartment. And I most definitely went overboard with the purchasing of furniture for said tiny apartment. Everything is big and nice, but big is bad in a small place. But I make do. I just have to do with some overcrowding in a few areas. Overcrowding. What a silly word. We know what crowded means. Is there really a need to specify more of it? I guess maybe there can be instances when its necessary. 'The elevator was crowded' versus 'the elevator was way too overcrowded' is a pretty big distinction, and if you've ever been in an overcrowded elevator, you know what I mean. So I guess there is a need for it after all. But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. So my place is crowded with stuff that I probably don't need, but, well, I want. So shut it.

Then I started school. F. M. L. Never have I undertaken something so vast and complex and challenging. My brain hurts every day and its only the first week. We have PT (thats physical training for non military folk) at 0600 (thats 6 a.m.) until 0700 (7 a.m.) on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I try to also work out on Tuesdays and Thursdays at or around the same time, though I would much rather (and probably should be) sleeping. I also try to on Saturdays, which I did today. I don't regret it, though it feels like my body does. I almost died today. Seriously. I felt a mild myocardial infarction coming on. Or maybe just localized ischemia. Or maybe I'm just fat and out of shape and did a ridiculous workout that brought the lactic acid levels in my body to near toxic levels. Probably the latter. Who knows. I didn't throw up, which was a good thing. Though I wanted to. Fo sho. Anyways, I digress again.

So yeah, PT from 6-7 MWF, then we start class at 8. Now I should mention, too, that I am either getting up early or staying up later to cook breakfast and try to eat healthy, by which I mean make eggs. I know it isn't hard, nor does it take long, but just the mere extra effort of doing anything is highly taxing on my recently-developed fragile nervous system. So, class starts at 8. I've eaten a healthy breakfast, worked out vigorously, showered and shaved and changed and even gotten a little bit of studying in before the 'bell' rings. By 'bell' I mean the powerpoint has started and the teacher has begun talking. Same thing really. Though I wouldn't mind a bell. Would keep the teachers on a better schedule and give me something to yearn for, aside from sleep and death. But of course everyone in the building is on moderately different schedules, which would not make for a very conducive learning environment with bells going off every 10-15 minutes. Ah well. Its a thought. So yeah. 0800. Class starts. And 50 minutes of lecture, followed by a ten minute break...rinse and repeat...rinse and repeat...rinse and repeat...BREAK FOR LUNCH!!!! Yeah. 4 hours-ish of lecture with an hour lunch break. Most everyone stays in now, because there just isn't time to go somewhere and eat and make it back in that hellacious parking lot. So everyone brings there lunch. I eat my salad that I love. Picked chicken, mixed greens, raspberries, gorgonzola and vinaigrette. Yummy. Plus snacks. Lots of snacks. Apples, carrots, pickles, bell peppers, whatever. I just need to munch on things all day or else I absolutely will fall asleep, which would not be good. After lunch is always the worst. Sleepy sleepy time. But anywho. Try and study a little bit on lunch, but its usually too noisy to do much but chit chat, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Then its another rinse and repeat x 4. Sooo awesome. Though they have cancelled a class and said that happens frequently, which is exciting. Oh yeah...the classes. Right now I am taking Biochemistry (ugh), microbiology (fml), medical law and ethics (yawn), and research/eval (great teacher, boring subject). And thats just right now. Next week we add Clinical Lab in there, plus some other random ones, and then the biggie in a few weeks...A and P. Which will destroy us. But thats ok. So yeah, thats the first semester. Its four months long, and then a week off, and then back to it with even more difficult classes for another four months. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. And that will be our 16 month Phase I portion, and then on to Phase II at a military hospital near you. Or somewhere. Probably somewhere craptastic. Though Hawaii wouldn't be too shabby. But who knows. Thats a long ways off. I need to survive biochem and micro first. Both are sufficiently kicking my ass on their respective own. Teamed up, they might actually kill me. But that could also be my melodramatic side coming out. He's a whiny little effer who stays rightfully hidden in the corner as he ought. Apparently challenging tasks bring him out just to gnaw at my frayed nerves. I may have to kill him during this course. Which would be a good thing overall, but he is rather entertaining. Years and years later usually. And usually to other people. But whatever. The courses are difficult, as I knew they would be. And I will get through them. I just hate when I read my micro book and feel as though I am reading chinese. Its not cool. And wildly demoralizing. First micro test this Thursday. Yuck. First Biochem test next Tuesday. Then pretty much a test every two or three days for the rest of the 16 months. FML.

So thats been my life for awhile. You know. A week. I think it will get easier as I get into the groove of things. I need to figure out how to study better. One, I get distracted easily. Having a shiny new TV and the internet and movies and cable and Showtime and Weeds and Californication all serve to destroy my concentration. I usually win. Usually. But also, I don't take notes that well. I dunno. I need to figure out how I learn better. Do I need to make flashcards? There's an app for that. No really. There is. Or do I just need to highlight and review? Do I need to make diagrams and pictures or what. I don't know. But I damn sure need to find out. I wonder if Van Wilder's Topless Tutors is available somewhere? I need to meet some strippers and see if they'd be down to 'help' my class out. I'm sure most of the guys would appreciate it. Though there wives may not. Hmmmm. Back to the mountaintop.

So I think that's about it for now. Oh wait. Nope. Sundays. Cooking days. Good times. I cook all the week's meals and then refridgerate. Yeah. That's it. Nope. Just kidding. Forgot to mention that I study. A lot. Hours and hours. From when I get home until 10-11, depending on the day. This week didn't go so well, but I've been trying to get into it. Nor did today go very well, as my workout went on for awhile, then I dawdled at the mall for a bit, then I lollygagged home and finally started to study. And even then I didn't do very well. As evidenced by this blog posting. But I am going to eat dinner. Read one more chapter, and then head out with some of the boys tonight. I think we are celebrating surviving Week 1. Its a lot like Hell Week for the SEALs or Special Forces, only not nearly as difficult, challenging or inherently dangerous as that. But you know. Pretty close.

On that note, I'm out. Its 1850 (thats 6:50 P.M.) CST and I am exhausted. But I am still gonna study. And I'm still gonna go out. And I'm still gonna bitch about it tomorrow.

Rinse and repeat.